He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
