i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
they need to just BURY HIM!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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