i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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