Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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