Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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