I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I need moral support for this bender
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
