Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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