Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
