their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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