what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
