I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize