I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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