She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you will always have a special place in my vag
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
