meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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