hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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