I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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