How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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