brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
