How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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