haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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