Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
