just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
