so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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