I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
