hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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