I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize