It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
