Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
why is half of my head shaved?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
