Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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