I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
