I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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