Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
please come you make the beer taste better
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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