idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
