Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i will never coherently bang her
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
