what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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