if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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