please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
