What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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