My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
