he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
