We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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