Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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