i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Quick, to the slutcave!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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