whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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