His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
