Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
