what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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