I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
