Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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