People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
