So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm having to shit out rocks
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