and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
