Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
