we're blogging at a bar
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
