you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
