Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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