living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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