The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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